Nurturing the Winner And Genius In Your Child

For many, being a parent is part and parcel of married life. Parenting can be said to be one of the most difficult as well as rewarding job that a person can have. What makes parenting even more challenging is the fact that the majority of us are never prepared for how our kids will turn to be. In life, we do not have a school that we can go to and graduate as a parent. Many times, we learn to do things through trial and error or follow the footsteps of our own parents. Nevertheless, we find that parenting, much to our horror, is not only about providing food and shelter for our kids but also about nurturing them to be better than who we are. It is here that many of us as parents meet our biggest obstacles as our kids never seem to understand the words that come out from our mouth even though we speak the same language called English.

No doubt many parents face this problem as their children grow older. The gap in communication becomes wider and wider with age and we find that out kids turn to their peers more than to us as parents for counsel. The upside of things is that parenting need not be an uphill struggle between your child and yourself. With the proper strategy and right frame of mind, we as parents do have the power to help shape our children lives positively. The key lies in being able to communicate with them coherently and I find the book by Adam Khoo and Gray Lee called “Nurturing the Winner & Genius in Your Child” an extremely helpful and informative book in this respect.

Adam Khoo, a best seller author and peak performance trainer, and co author Gray Lee, a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming™ (NLP) trainer and an MBTITM accredited facilitator have put together an excellent book that helps explain why our children behave the way they are. Together, these two highly qualified individuals have trained and empowered over 350,000 people to change their lives for the better. Their highly successful Superkids™, ‘I Am Gifted So Are You!™’,‘Patterns of Excellence™’ and ‘Wealth Academy™’ programs have already been adopted in several countries in South East Asia.

This book was written based on the premise that the positive development of a child is built upon on mutual active participation between the parents and the child. This is where this book differs from most of the other books regarding child development. As a parent myself, I have to confess that at times, due to the stress of modern life, we tend to overlook the emotional needs of our children because we took it for granted that they understand the adult world. I also have to admit that the time I invested into reading this book did indeed enlighten me about several aspects of parenting which never crossed my mind. One of the most powerful concepts that I was able to grasp was that in order for us to successfully develop our children mindset positively, is that the changes have to come from within us first. Adam Khoo calls this concept “Reframing the Mind”.

“Reframing the Mind” basically refers to changing the negative mindset and perception of a child to one that is positive in order that the child can be empowered and grow in self esteem. And this takes place at the contextual and as well as the content level of a particular situation. The book was able to clearly illustrate how this reframing of the mind works on both the parent and the child. For example, on the parental level, when a child complain that it is useless to further his or her studies and he or she prefer to start working early, our response as parent should not be to ignore their emotions and give them a typical response like “Are you crazy?” Instead the book advices us as a parent to first reframe our mind and approach the situation differently by recognizing and respecting the perception of their world.

In addition, the book is also filled with exercises that help parents to unlock the potential in their children mind. For example, in Chapter 2 of the book, it explains how we were all born with the innate potential to be geniuses and using the transformational exercises contain in the book, we can actually “unlock” our children learning potential. The book also uses Adam Khoo when he was young as an example. Using techniques like ‘Whole Brain Learning’, ‘Accelerated Learning’, ‘Mind Mapping’, ‘Brain Optional Learning’, ‘Super Memory Techniques’ and ‘Speed Reading’, he transformed himself from being a slow learner into a gifted student.

Overall, the book is well written and well laid out. The concepts and philosophy put forward are explained clearly. And written with a personal tone and at times humorous, it is easy to relate to what the authors are trying to say. This is not surprising as the book also reveals the authors' own personal challenges and experiences in their lives making reading this book all the more interesting and enjoyable. At times, I cannot help but laugh at what the book pointed out to me as a parent especially when it comes to the ways that we had reprimanded our children.

Our world today has changed tremendously from what it used to be. The ways we communicate with each other have also changed in ways that we could not even imagine 20 years ago. During our childhood years, we were playing with diecast toys or stuffed dolls for the girls; children today have computer games that are networked all over the world. At a single click of the mouse, they can reach out to almost anyone on the internet. Yet, despite all the conveniences of modern communication technologies, we find ourselves drifting further and further apart from our children. Ask yourself this, does your child spend more time on the computer or with you? This is one of the key issues that this book did point out me to me while I was perusing through it.

Computer games addiction is a very common theme among youngster nowadays. We adults can never fully understand why as we have never experienced the kind of “stress” that children nowadays go through. Chapter 1 of the book helped me to understand the reason behind the allure of computers games to children. One of the reasons is that, children used computer games as a form of regaining control of their lives although sadly within the confines of the virtual world. And this in turn, teaches children that instant gratification is the norm of life today. Unlike before, we were taught to appreciate the principle of delayed gratification. With the exercises laid in the book, we can actually discover the “root” causes of the problems faced by our children and deal with them accordingly.

Unless we as parents take the first initiative to learn to understand our children better from their point of view, we will never to able to bridge this communication gap. We cannot use the methods which our parents brought us up with and impose them on own our children. The world then as we know it is no longer as it used to be. With that, we ourselves must realize that the old ways of parenting are no longer applicable in our modern world. To nurture the development of our children positively, we ourselves need to, as Adam Khoo says, “Reframe our Mind” first. And that first step starts by reading “Nurturing the Winner & Genius in Your Child” and learning new strategies for effective parenting.

Never Give Up

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do." - Confucius

When your baby learns to take her first step, she will most likely fall initially. As a parent, you will very likely encourage her to try again. You will lend her a hand to hold on to and gradually let it go, until she can stand on her own. When she is ready, she will lift her foot again. A fall on the bum, or sometimes a knock on the head, is common. But you can observe that she will get up and keep on trying again and again. Then, finally, when you do not have your video camera ready to shoot that prized moment, she manages her first step.

Everyone of us has that quality to never give up since birth. After learning to crawl, we learn to walk, then climb, kick, run, swim, cycle, etc. No matter how many times we fall when we learn to ride the bicycle, we will pick it up and carry on even when our legs have scratches here and there. Why do we keep trying? Because we have a strong desire to be able to do something well. Because we believe in ourselves, that we can do it.

Each time we fall, we learn something new. It is the things that we learn that help us improve to overcome the challenges that we face. With the lessons learned, it not only builds up our knowledge but also our character. We become stronger mentally. When we face our fears again, it becomes easier to manage them.

If you have fallen, whether in business, career or relationships, think of the baby in you. Think of how you managed to take that first step into the world. A baby never gives up, why should you? Get up and keep on trying. Your first step is not far away.

How To Have More?

"To have more, become more." - Jim Rohn

Two good friends grew up in the same neighbourhood, went to the same school and graduated with flying colours. They found jobs without much problem but realised that they would had to go separate ways. Kenneth was posted to work overseas in a multinational company, while Duncan got a software engineering position in a local startup. As excited as they were with their future, they had a hard time bidding farewell to each other.

Eight years later, Duncan spotted Kenneth sipping latte at a Starbucks cafe in Sydney airport. They were overjoyed to see each other and spent the next couple of hours catching up on old times. Duncan is now the R&D Manager in his first job. He flew to Sydney to attend an exhibition on communication technologies and source for new ideas. He is happily married, with two kids. Kenneth, meanwhile, was into his fifth job working as a technical support staff in an insurance company. He shared his stories with Duncan on his retrenchment from his first job, to his firing of his boss in the last job. His stories could almost fit into a "101 reasons for finding another job" bestseller.

While Kenneth spent the last few years blaming other people, the boss, the company, the government and the environment for his failure, Duncan used his time to beef up his skills. Knowing that he needs to stay up-to-date with technology to progress in his career, he constantly attended seminars and conferences to acquire new knowledge and network with his peers in the industry. He even took up a part-time course and is certified in key skills that are highly valued.

The answer to be more successful in life is to become more. More skillful, more knowledgeable, more caring, more jovial, more thoughtful and the list goes on. Develop a habit of always wanting to improve yourself. Smile more, be cheerful. It helps, whether you are working as a cashier or a salesman. Stand tall, do not hunch. Speak out, not mumble. It shows you have self-confidence. Spend more time on your personal development. It will help you to have more.

Ask Quality Questions

"Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers." - Anthony Robbins

When my doctor informed me that I had cancer at the end of last year, I was surprised. I paused to gather my thoughts. What is going on here? What does this mean? How will this affect me? What are the treatments available? Will I be able to continue doing what I like? How will my family and friends take this piece of news? What kind of support is available to me? Will my insurance be able to cover most of the cost of my medical bills? Questions after questions kept flowing from my mind. There were just too many questions I had to ask but I did not had the answers there and then. In fact, I looked for additional questions to ask by researching websites, like the US National Cancer Institute. I gathered and posed those questions to my oncologist the next time I went for my appointment. And I received the answers that I wanted to guide me through my decision making and what to expect as I went through my treatment.

Had I asked poor questions, I believe the outcome for me would have been different. What if I had asked, "Why me?" or "Why now?". My mind would have then raced to look for answers on why I am the victim of this dreaded disease. I would be finding answers on why the world seems to be unfair. Perhaps, it would lead me to think that only old people should be getting sick, not me. Or I would think that this will severely affect the current lifestyle that I am enjoying.

Why do we make poor decisions? Because we have poor answers. And the reason for getting answers that do not help us at all, is due to the questions that we ask ourselves. If you phrase your questions with the aim of getting positive outcome, then you will be rewarded with wisdoms that will point you to the right direction. Avoid asking questions that seek reasons for situations that have happenened, at least not when you are looking for solutions. Those questions can be reserved until later, when you are doing a post-mortem to understand what mistakes you made in the past and learn from your mistakes.

Achieving Greatness

"Greatness is only achieved in the absence of fear" - Author unknown

I often ponder on how Neil Armstrong managed to walk on the moon. Can you imagine that was done 40 years ago from today? What was the level of technology like then? I guess even a basic laptop computer that you use now will have better performance than whatever they used on board Apollo 11. So, how did they (Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins, Neil Armstrong) get to the moon? And what drove them to do it?

Before 1969, no one has landed on the moon, although they were flights that orbited it. If you look at the history of space exploration, you will realise that it is not a ride on a train and there were plenty of risks. Failures that resulted in loss of communication with the crafts were common, failed launches, landings and many others. With all the known and unknown risks, why did the 3 astronauts still attempted to reach the moon?

President Barack Obama called the astronauts "Genuine Heroes".

"It is because of the heroism, the calm under pressure, the grace with which these three gentlemen operated, but also the entire NASA family that was able to, at great risk oftentimes and with great danger, was somehow able to lift our sights - not just here in the United States, but around the world," said Mr. Obama.

They calculated the risks that they had to take and overcame their fear to achieve a historic feat. You do not have to reach the moon or Mars to achieve greatness. But whenever you want to achieve more than what you have now, the first step is to remove all fear from your heart. Whether it is starting a new business, venturing into a new industry, conquering the highest peak, saving the world from global warming, it all starts with courage. You can have the perfect plan and strategies, but if you do not possess the courage to act, all your planning will be of no use.