3 Steps To Re-build Courage

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

The difference between those who made it compared to those who did not, could sometimes be attributed to just courage. It makes a huge difference when it is time to make a decision whether to jump on board the ship or let it sail off into the vast ocean. With courage, the heart rules over the mind. Logical reasoning takes a step back. You just know that you have to do it, or else you will remain where you are for the rest of your life.

Is courage an in-born skill or learned over time? It is both. As a child, there is no lack of courage in you. Most likely you would have taken the first step as soon as you had the energy to lift up your feet. An open flame would not have stopped you from reaching out for it, though you would have learned that it was painful afterward. As you grow up, so do your "courage". You begin to defy instructions from your parents or teachers. The more you attempt to do things out of the norm, the better you become at making those decisions. However, over time, some kind angelic soul will tell you that is not right to do the things you did. Sometimes you listen, most of the time you do not. Without realising it, you gradually take more time to ponder before making decisions. You learn how to hesitate. When you reach adolescent, logical reasoning becomes your mastered skill, while courage sits in the back burner.

If you have lost your courage, can you re-discover it? The answer is a definite yes. Here are 3 steps that you can take to get acquainted again with the skill that you have in yourself:

1. Start small - Never been able to ask for a date with that dream partner? Get some friends together and organise a group outing, then invite your partner over. It will be easier than to ask for a one-to-one candlelight dinner. As time goes by, take it a step further from group outings to double dating, then go solo.
   
2. Learn from others - If you cannot push yourself to making decisions that are critical to your success, fret not. Instead of starting your own business when you are not ready, why not learn from someone who has started it? Learn how he start-up his business, how he prepared a business plan, where he found customers, who he obtained investments from.
3. Set goals - Write down your short and long term goals on paper. When you write them down, you will become more committed to achieve them. When you feel that you lack the courage to take that step forward, look at your goals. Do you truly want to reach your goals? If yes, what are you waiting for?
   

Value Of A Man

"The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving." - Albert Einstein

Come Christmas every year, children around the world look forward to opening their presents from their beloved grandparents, parents, relatives and friends. With the genius of marketing people, this annual religious event has been turned into a huge money spinner for many businesses. Think toys for boys and girls, gadgets for the big boys and carats for the ladies.

Although my family and I are not Christians, we could not resist joining in the fun every year. We prepare nicely wrapped gifts a few weeks' in advance for our children. We do not have any Christmas tree (yet). So, we normally place the gifts beside a tall audio speaker, which is the closest thing that we can get to a tree. When it is time to unwrap what are in the boxes, the innocent smile and pleasant surprise from their little faces never fail to warm our hearts.

Lavishing gifts on others is probably one of the easiest act that we can all do, if you can afford them. But the story above is not to illustrate on how you will be valued in life. There is more to it that we can all contribute to the world and society that we live in. You do not have to be the next Mother Teresa, Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi or Bono. But every little act that you do that improves the lives of people, helps solve some challenges, take some pain away, make burdens lighter, goes a long way.

We all have a gift in us but the value of that gift is only realised when we let it out.

Life Choices

"Life offers us choices but the decision lies in our own hands." - Author unknown

The life story of Mother Teresa of Calcutta never fails to inspire people. She dedicated her whole life to serving humanity by caring for the poorest of the poor in the slums of Calcutta. It was during an annual retreat in 1946, when she stepped out of her convent, that she witnessed the suffering and poverty that left a deep impression on her. Two years later, she was granted permission to leave the convent and devoted herself to working amongst the poorest.

Mother Teresa may not be with us now. But the decision she made at that time left an unforgettable legacy for all and her work is continued by many who shares in her vision.

Live Your Dreams

"Don't just dream of the life you want, start living your dreams." - Author unknown

Many of us have dreams of living a fabulous lifestyle, in a luxurious beach house on an island of our own. We dream of being millionaires, being able to travel anywhere, whenever we want, savour exotic delicacies, dress in sparkling jewelry, riding in a limousine and the list goes on. It becomes a different story the moment we wake up. Poof! The dream disappears almost instantaneously. And we will almost always wished we could continue sleeping.

It does not always have to be as extravagant as the example earlier. But dreams and wishes we all have. It could be as simple as wishing that you can get your hands on that cool new Honda Insight hybrid car. Anything beats having to squeeze with the crowd on a bus in the wee morning when you are rushing for work.

The challenge with most of us is that our wishes remain as they are, just wishes. Have you thought of what if you can really turn your wish into a reality? Is that really possible? Why not? Do you really think that Warren Buffet became a billionaire with the help of a genie from a old lamp? No. Likewise, Anthony Robbins became a successful author and speaker because he believed he can convert his dreams into reality.

If someone who delivered newspapers as a boy, and another who worked as a janitor can achieve their dreams, why not you? So, do not throw away your dreams just yet. If you have a burning desire to achieve it, you will realise it. We will explore this further in another article, starting with goal setting.

Sorrow Leads To Strength And Wisdom

"Things are never as bad as they seem. The situations that cause us sorrow are the same ones that introduce us to the strength, power and wisdom that we truly are." - Robin Sharma, from the book Discover Your Destiny with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.

This can never be more true than what I am going through now. When I told my wife that I had cancer a few months ago, she was shocked in disbelief. It was difficult to accept the news when I told her over the phone. We were both not prepared. What do we do now? We have two young children who have not even started primary school. I have insurance policies but they would barely last my family a few years if a worst case scenario happens to me. A lot of different thoughts rushed about randomly in our minds.

After we received more information from my doctor, we calmed down a little. Not that there is a 100% cure but that we became more knowledgeable about my condition. With a better understanding of the treatment that I have to go through, we could plan how to go about our lifes for the next phase.

I realised that nothing is thicker than blood. My family rallied behind me. My wife asked for work-from-home arrangements from her employer to accompany me whenever I went to hospital. My mother flew in from my hometown to stay with us, to help out with preparing more nutritious and healthy home-cooked food for me. My friends prayed for me. My colleagues volunteered to back me up at work, so that I can rest and recover quickly.

With all the support and well wishes, I feel truly blessed to have all these people in my life. It makes me even more determined to battle my cancer and bounce back. My sincere thanks to all.

Shortcut To Success

"There is no shortcut to success. It is all about hardwork, perseverance and much more." - Author unknown

Many of us hope to get a lucky winning number when we buy a lottery and hope for early retirement. Imagine if you strike a jackpot of $3 million. What will you do with the money? Invest part of it, buy a new house, go on a grand tour, treat your family and friends to a 10-course dinner in a 5-star hotel? But what is the probability of winning. Some kind soul did a calculation for Singapore Toto and found out that there is only a 1 in 8,145,060 chance of winning the jackpot. Therefore, even if you buy a ticket for every draw in your lifetime, chances are you may not be the lucky one. But you can still buy it, just keep your hopes very low. If it strikes, take it as a bonus but do not rely on it to become successful in life.

One of my favourite action hero is non other that Jackie Chan. His life story was a path strewn with challenges. He started learning kungfu with his father at a very young age and spent 10 years at China Drama Academy where he learned martial arts and acrobatics, among others. From there, he built his foundation and it instilled a sense of discipline in him. He only started his acting career at age of 21 but it did not took off instantly. Through sheer hardwork and perseverance, it took him time to establish himself in the movie industry in Asia. And it was another hurdle when he attempted to break into the US market. But he did not give up. As of today, he is internationally recognised as a superstar. Some of his successful films include Police Story, Rush Hour and Shanghai Noon.

Burning Desire

"Every adversity brings with it the seed of an equivalent advantage" - Napoleon Hill

From his burning desire to challenge the doctor's opinion that his newborn son might be deaf and mute for life, Napoleon Hill constantly sought a way to help his child in understanding sound without the aid of ears. With a very strong believe, they managed to overcome the odds. Read more about this from his timeless classic, "Think and Grow Rich".

Don't Change The World

"If you can't change the world, change yourself." - Author unknown

It is always easy to blame others when life does not turn out the way that we want it to be. Blame the government when taxes go up. Blame the transport authority when toll prices increase. Curse at your boss when you get retrenched.

Does putting the blame on others help solve any problems? Does it make you feel better? Will the situation improve? No, no, no. Instead of pointing the finger at someone else, we have to look inwards to ourselves. Start asking positive questions.

What can I do to generate more income when taxes increase? What other skills do I have to earn a better living? Will starting up a new business help to alleviate some of the new taxes?

When toll prices are raised, can I use public transport? Can I car pool with my colleagues if I still love to ride in a private car?

If I am retrenched, is it because my skills are not relevant to the company anymore? How should I upgrade myself?

The world has more than 6 billion people across more than 192 countries in the world. It is impossible that you can influence that many people to change their thoughts. But if you focus on improving yourself, you will start seeing the world differently.

Concentration

"The best advice I ever came across on the subject of concentration is: Wherever you are, be there.

When you work, work. When you play, play. Don't mix the two.

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of attention.

On the way to work, concentrate on the way - not the work.

Pay attention. Don't just stagger through the day."

- Jim Rohn

Prevention

"Prevention is better than cure." - Author unknown

We have all heard of this idiom since our school days or from someone we know. It is better to take care of ourselves before something dreadful happens. Almost everyone knows about this universal truth but how many of us practise it in our day to day life? When you were in your teens, do you keep your face clean everyday or wait until acne start breaking out before rushing out to the pharmacy for the latest facial cleanser/toner/moisturiser package? "Oh, it won't happen to me.", is such a common excuse to ignore this.

The reason why I chose this as the first thought of the day is that I had ignored this simple truth myself. At age 38 now, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Non-Hodgkin lymphoma, which is a cancer of the lymph nodes. It came as a shock to me, my family and my close friends. I have been generally healthy my entire life, except for the occasional flu, cough, fever. I am a non-smoker and eat a healthy diet, with moderate intake of fast food, junk food and alcohol. However, I realised that I do not have a regular exercise regime. In fact, I had not have any regular exercise since I left high school. Had I been doing some form of regular exercise, be it brisk walking, swimming, working out at a gym, would my current situation been prevented? Maybe. Even a slight maybe would be a bonus.

Imagine if I had paid a few hundred dollars for a gym membership, took an hour every 2-3 days for a full workout. Compare that to the few thousand dollars that I have to pay for my medical bills now, the frequent hospital visits for chemotherapy, lost of time with family and friends.

Practise this simple universal truth now. Do not wait for mishaps to happen to you.